I feel like posting something but I don't know what. I know! Following the pattern established last week, let's give you synopses of the latest episodes of the new He-Man cartoon. Well, the latest ones I've seen:
Buzz Off's Pride - His queen's royal jubilee is coming up, so Buzz Off heads off the village of Viradis to get his queen's favourite food: honeyberries. Viradis, you see, is home to the Crystal of Prasinus, which makes their produce ripe all year round and grow to phenomenal proportions. Orko tags along with Buzz Off, but they find the bridge to Viradis being guarded by a big, evil giant who's terrorizing all who tries to cross it. Buzz Off, Master of the Universe that he is, tries to battle the giant, but the giant easily whips Buzz Off's buggy butt. Buzz Off retreats to the Eternia palace and makes Orko vow never to talk of his defeat. A few minutes later, Man At Arms hears of giants terrorizing Viradis, so he, Prince Adam, Ram Man, and Buzz Off go off to battle the giants. When they assess the situation, Adam sneaks off to become He-Man. Buzz Off, consumed with vengeance, goes after the giant who defeated him in battle. This giant leads Buzz Off away, leaving He-Man, Ram Man, and Man At Arms short-handed. The other two giants make short work of these three, lay waste to the village, and make off with the Crystal of Prasinus. Our three heroes begin rescuing the civillians when Buzz Off returns. Buzz Off sees the damage that happened because he was off trying to heal his wounded pride rather than help out with the battle. Having learned a valuable lesson about one of the seven deadly sins, Buzz Off heads off on his own, on a stealth mission, to recover the Crystal and redeem himself. He goes to the giant's cottage, and this time, he doesn't let their taunts faze him. He flies around the room, making the giants trip over themselves, swipes the Crystal, and escapes through the chimeny. He returns it to Viradis where he apologizes to the other Masters for his behaviour, and the villagers offer to reward him for his action. He turns down their reward, but does at last buy some honeyberries for his queen.
Roboto's Gambit - (I was looking forward to this one because I had Roboto when I was a kid and he was one of my favourites.) Man-E-Faces in his robot form is an unbeatable chess player. So, to provide him with an equal, Man At Arms builds a chess playing android that he names Roboto. Roboto proves to be a chess player equal to Man-E-Faces, but the Masters go off on patrol, leaving Roboto alone in the castle. Meanwhile, Tri Klops is demonstrating his latest weapon of mass destruction to Skeletor: tiny skeleton warriors that double their numbers when you destroy them. But, when these skeleton warriors start fighting each other, Skeletor laughs at this weapon and sends Tri Klops on his way. We cut to Prince Adam and Teela, doing some sparring on the outskirts of the kingdom, while Sy-Klone offers some sage warrior advice. At this point, Tri Klops attacks them with his skeleton warriors. He wants to prove to Skeletor that they will work. They easily overwhelm Adam and Teela, so Sy-Klone stays behind to hold them off while Adam and Teela head to the palace to rally the troops. When they arrive at the palace, Adam sneaks off to become He-Man. He-Man orders Teela and the Eternian guard to stay behind and protect the castle while he and Battle Cat go off to assist Sy-Klone. As Teela inspects her troops, she is stunned to see Roboto among their ranks. Roboto says that he has skills as a warrior, and wants to help, but Teela dismisses him as being nothing but a game playing robot and sends him on his way. Roboto heads off to Man At Arm's lab, where he upgrades his body from that of a mere chess player to an ass kicking warrior. Again, he tries to join Teela's troops, but Teela still dismisses him as nothing but a game player. Back on the frontlines, He-Man, Battle Cat, and Sy-Klone are starting to get overwhelmed by the skeleton warriors. No matter how many they smash, more just rise up. Tri Klops begins thinking, "Who needs Skeletor? I'll take the palace for myself!" Back at the palace, Roboto has been scanning the battle field with his sensors. He finally spots Tri Klops - and his control device. He deduces that the control device must be the key to deactivating these skeleton warriors. He tries to tell this to Teela, but Teela just keeps telling him that robots can't be warriors. Finally pissed off with Teela, Roboto charges to the frontline to tell this to He-Man personally. With this new information, He-Man goes after Tri Klops while Roboto stays behind to draw away the skeleton warriors. He-Man and Tri Klops duke it out, and He-Man gets the control device and shuts down the skeleton warriors. But, it's too late. The skeleton warriors have rendered Roboto offline. Teela is stunned and saddend by this. Roboto's heroic actions have proved her wrong, and now she can't apologize to Roboto. Oh, if only she had followed Sy-Klone's wisdom! But, Man At Arms has a surprise for Teela. He has repaired Roboto, and Teela welcomes Roboto to the team of Masters of the Universe. Back at Snake Mountain, Skeletor decides to punish Tri Klops for his failure and treachery by making Tri Klops fight his own skeleton warriors.
In a completely unrelated story, it's July 7. It's my 26th birthday. I'll celebrate in the usual way: contemplating whether I should blow my head off or just go bowling. Usually, I go bowling.
Next issue...the Adventures of the 26 year old Virgin.
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